My #1 Tip for Trusting Yourself Again

I really didn’t bloody want to go to the grocery store.

It was 8am Saturday morning, and I had gotten up extra early to get to the shops because I hate lineups - and I did NOT want to go.

Now, doing the shopping isn’t my favourite thing in the land, but the heaviness and resistance I felt in my body felt fairly extreme in response to getting groceries.

So, like any well-trained adult, I bucked up, and talked - and shamed - myself back into going.

You said you would.

What else are you gonna eat?

Are you gonna keep your word or not?

You NEVER do what you say you’re going to do.

When ELSE are you going to do it?!

With some dramatic sighing and stuffing all five of my reusable bags into my backpack, I made the 20-minute trek to the grocery store.

Only to find it closed.

Their power had gone out, and they didn’t know when it was going to be back on, and didn’t have generators to open the tills, or operate the payment machines or fridges.

Wellllllll, shit.

My body had been giving me a VERY clear message, and I wasn’t willing to listen.

Because I “knew” better. 

And that’s only one instance where I didn’t realize my body and feelings were trying to tell me something that my brain couldn’t comprehend.

So my number one tip?

Start small.

Really, Kate?

That’s bloody it?

That’s all you’ve got?

Hear me out!

It’s easy to want the MASSIVE leaps and the massive breakthroughs, and ALL THE THINGS RIGHT NOW - 

And.

Sometimes our hearts and nervous systems aren’t ready for them.

The massive leaps and breakthroughs…. Or not going to the shops when we said we would.

And I feel it’s part of our culture, the idea of “bigger is better”, when often it’s not.

Small changes make big differences over time, and that’s where we’re gonna start.

It can be hard to start trusting ourselves again. In our society, listening to our own wants, needs, desires, and intuition can be tremendously difficult when we’ve been conditioned to listen to everybody else and give our authority away.

To distrust our own knowings.

So starting to trust ourselves again can be nerve-wracking.

Or vomit-inducing, depending on how hard the feeling hits!

Which is why I recommend starting small.

And then testing it!

Asking yourself what you would, or wouldn’t like for lunch. 

Checking in with your body to see if you’re hungry, thirsty, or need to go to the bathroom.

And notice what comes up.

We’re used to suppressing our needs, including bodily functions - so why on Earth would your body and intuition want to speak up or tell you anytihng when you ignore it or tell it can it? (to shut up, for those unfamiliar with the colloquialism)

(Not that your body and intuition will actually stop talking to you lol - It ain’t petty like that!)

But really!

How much do you love talking to somebody, knowing you’re going to get ignored?

And the truth is - our bodies and intuition are always trying to get our attention, but we have to be willing to listen. 

So again, start small.

What do you want to eat? Are you tired or thirsty? What activity would feel fun, or nourishing after a day at work? Which bowl would you like to eat out of? Does going for a walk or doing yoga sound more appealing? (Or neither! Do you actually just need a bloody nap?!)

And after asking yourself about a prospective choice, notice what happens in your body.

Does it feel light, or expansive?

Or contracted, pinched, or heavy?

This is a simple way to start listening to yourself and notice what messages you’re already getting about things.

Tip: If you’re new to tuning into what your body is feeling, or being present with yourself, I find putting one hand on my heart, and one on my belly can be helpful, along with taking a few deep breaths. Even sitting in a chair and feeling my back being supported - but do what works for you!

The other great thing about starting small is that there likely isn’t going to be as much emotional or mental chatter or attachment to these decisions, so you can start trusting yourself in small ways, and build up to making big decisions over time.

OH YES.

And then follow which one feels better!!

Noticing the feeling, and then ignoring it, is NOT what we’re practicing here!

And it is a practice!

To notice how you react to a certain choice, and then act in accordance with what actually feels better!

Then notice your results - What happened next?

You won’t get it “right” everytime, but you will get better!

Then, little by little, we start to trust ourselves more.

Because we’re willing to listen, and honour what we hear.

Is there a time when you’ve either ignored or followed your intuition or gut feeling, and it led to unexpected results?

Or, a feeling of, “I KNEW it!!”

I’d love to hear from you in the comments! ;)

BIG love and Reiki,

xx

Kate

PS - if we’ve broken trust with ourselves, there may also be words that need to be said, apologies, or forgiveness that needs to be given, some part of us that needs to be heard before we can move on to building our self-trust again. Which I’ll address with a journaling style practice next week!

Chat soon! ;)